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07 September 2011 @ 12:36 am
A long time, I had not blogged.  
I had a dream last night. And I can't stop wondering back to the past.
Things that will never be the same.
I wonder what will I do if I gave people another chance not to lie to me?
Things will be better? I don't know.
If there's something for ME to be sorry about, I'll apologize.
If I feel that by doing something bad to ME just because I did something bad to you,
I don't thing you might own this apology. I feel.
I don't wanna be a good person to be pushed around all day. I'm tired of giving in so much.

I felt like I'm missing out a lot.
I totally forgot what feeling it's like to hang out with a bunch of friends all the time.
When relationship is more important to me than family.
Now come to think of it, I don't understand what's important to me any more.
Because my life became so empty.

I ran. I ran away from all the people who are bad to me.
I hide my true self so I wont get hurt again.
I'm afraid of trusting people because I'm afraid I might get myself into depression again.
But I miss the old days.
I miss so many people who were once so important to me,
and now they are gone, either they found someone better, or they think I'm a junk.
I gave up anyway. To everything, because things became not worthy to fight for.
People I dont wanna trust are so close with me,
people whom I wanna trust betrayed me.

I probably want a peaceful life, yet with enjoyment.
I guess I'm fine being what I am now. If I met nothing about other people..
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: 福山雅治 - Milk tea
(Deleted comment)
xiaoxuan99: Tora - Guitarist is love <3xiaoxuan99 on October 1st, 2011 04:07 pm (UTC)
hi honey :)
yeah I've disappeared from facebook because I thought like 90% of people there are like not my friends,
:\ and I'm so lazy to delete them so I deactivated my facebook instead LOL :)
yup yup :) I'm fine.
work is getting busy though :(
haha alright I'll update like tomorrow on how to get me contacted LOL!~
I'm so sorry I left without letting you know~ *hugs*
(Deleted comment)
xiaoxuan99: Tora - Guitarist is love <3xiaoxuan99 on October 2nd, 2011 02:21 pm (UTC)
awww haha letters will be nice too~ it has been long since I last had letters :D
I think back when I was young and I go into post office to mail to you all like I knew the place real well XDDD
Now asking me to go back I'm like @_@ I didn't even remember how to buy a stamp already lol~ that's so bad :(
Yeah :) I'm enjoying it though :3 like this month will be pretty busy T_T
because more projects are coming in.
I just hope I got the motivation to stay there longer :(